Remember when you were young and played “pretend”? You could be anything that you wanted to be, there were no boundaries or obstacles. Do you recall the fun that you had being free to decide your path? It was fun wasn’t it? If so, why did you stop? Perhaps because it was time to “grow up” and be responsible? How limiting! Guess what, now’s the time to begin embracing your childhood again.
As adults we often want something, but our belief that we can’t achieve our desires end up standing in our way. It is time to suspend doubt and disbelief. The way to do this is by acting “as if”! DO not wait for the proof that you can be, do, or have what you want. BE it now in your mind. You can have what you want materialize by choosing the be-ing appropriate to your situation, since we become what we think about. The main idea here is that what shows up in your life directly corresponds to who you are be-ing. This said, if you want to make changes to the way things are showing up, your be-ing will need to change first.
Kelsey was beginning to lose hope of ever quitting her “day job”. She had been moonlighting in her home business as a Virtual Assistant for over three years, and still had not managed to come close to making what she was earning at her day job. In desperation Kelsey hired a personal coach. Her coach had her develop an Ideal Client Analysis by assembling a list of all of the qualities that she most wanted her clients to possess. By beginning with this exercise, Kelsey realized that more than half of her clients were not her ideal clients. Some did not pay on time, others tried to monopolize her time, and she even had a couple who were not very nice. Her coach then had her visualize what she thought her life would be like if she only worked with her ideal clients for the next month.
Kelsey had visions of more free time, enjoying the work that she was doing for her ideal clients and being paid what she felt her services were worth, in a timely manner. Kelsey was thrilled with the picture that unfolded in her mind. Her coach then asked Kelsey to spend 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at bedtime, visualizing herself as the person that attracted her ideal client.
After one month Kelsey had some amazing things to report. She had gained eight new clients that paid her double what she had been making, and she had started letting go clients that did not fit her ideal client analysis. Kelsey had learned that the person she was be-ing in the beginning was allowing herself to be walked on, and that by creating a new be-ing she would be able to quit her day job rather quickly. It all came down to her choosing the right be-ing in order for her to attain her goals.
One of the best things about games is the safety factor. What ever shows up is fine when it is considered Just a Game. Imagine being able to attract everything you want in life, just by deciding to BE the one that the lifestyle belongs to. How cool is that? Remember to keep it light and above all else, have FUN with it!
Eva Gregory, master coach, speaker and author of The Feel Good Guide To Prosperity, http://www.feelgoodguide.com, has instructed thousands on the Laws of Attraction in person, on the radio and in dozens of teleconference training seminars and programs. She is the author of several books and e-books and has co-developed several telephone-based and internet-based training courses on the Laws of Attraction. Her most popular program to date is her Leading Edge Living One Year Success Program. Eva is regularly featured on radio and in the media and is a recognized authority on the Laws of Attraction. To learn more about her products and services, visit Leading Edge Coaching, http://www.leadingedgecoaching.com.
I edited and re-edited my article. I had to make sure it was just so. Then I procrastinated on writing the query letter to get my article published. The house needed cleaning, I ran out of stamps, the letter wasn’t quite right. Delivering the query letter to the mailbox took another week what with family, meetings and such. I had good excuses why I wasn’t actively trying to get published. But, the real reason was that I was afraid I wasn’t going to be good enough.
So many times our excuses are just a cover-up for being afraid. Unfortunately since the fear is being covered up we have no way against it. We just go merrily along making more excuses and wondering why our life is still the same.
We need to bring our fears out into the open. Next time you feel yourself start making an excuse, stop. Look behind that excuse and see if a fear is lurking nearby. Say it like it is. Be honest with yourself with the real reason you are making excuses. Look the fear in the face. Only then can you fight it.
-Examine your fear. Is it rational? Is it true that everyone will laugh at you if you try yoga? Most people will be too busy worrying about embarrassing themselves at yoga class.
-If it is rational, what practical steps can you do to minimize your risk? If you start your own business you may fail and lose money. Is there any way to save up money or stay at your job a little while longer before launching a new business?
-Now go for it! Tell yourself you are scared, but you can do it anyway. Take itty bitty steps if you need to, but keep moving forward. Find someone to be accountable to. Tell them what you are going to do and then check in with them once you accomplish the task. Don’t let yourself make excuses.
TAKE ACTION
Start looking at where you are making excuses frequently. Do you always make excuses why you can’t exercise or why you will do this project later?
1. I frequently make excuses about:
2. What I am really afraid of is:
3. Is this fear rational?
4. If this is rational, what steps can I take to minimize risk?
5. The next three little actions to take will be:
Now take that first action and say goodbye to your excuses!
About The Author
© Beth Dargis 2004
Beth Dargis works with overwhelmed women to create saner, simpler lives. Are you in need of a break? Take the self-care quiz: http://www.encouragingcoach.com/projects-selfcare-quiz.htm
bethd@encouragingcoach.com
Remember when summer seemed to last forever? My mother use to
say that some day we would realize just how fast time goes by.
As usual, my mother was right.
It’s not that time has sped up but that our relationship to time
has changed. We no longer have the perspective of time from a
child’s point of view. After living some 40 plus years, we
realize that in the grand scheme of things the length of our
lives can be measured in the blink of any eye. All the more
reason to be conscious about choosing how we spend our time and
live our lives.
If you’ve heard the news lately, it’s been like listening to an
old 45 record with a scratch in it. The bad news keeps playing
over and over: gas prices are soaring, people are losing their
jobs, we may all get sick with the Flu next year, and the war in
Iraq goes on.
This repetitive onslaught of bad news has a spellbinding and
paralyzing effect on us. We start to believe and act accordingly
to what we are told. We even begin telling ourselves that this
isn’t the right time to start a new business, leave a job, go
back to school, or move. Then the “what ifs” start chiming in.
What if I lose my job? What if I can’t find another job? What if
I get sick? What if I can’t pay my bills?
This is what fear is designed to do: keep us from moving
forward, from taking risks, and settling for mediocrity.
Yes, there will always be a reason why you can’t do something.
The question is, are you going to let that stop you?
In the play, Steel Magnolia’s, the character Shelby suffers from
brittle diabetes. She wants desperately to have a baby knowing
that she is risking her health and going against medical advice.
To her, having the opportunity is worth the risk. She says: “I’d
rather live 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing
special.”
What would 30 minutes of wonderful look like to you at this time
in your life? Take a piece of paper and write down what
immediately comes to your mind. Maybe it comes to you in a word,
an image or a feeling. If you find yourself staring at a blank
sheet of paper, I will guarantee that if you hang that piece of
paper on the wall, every time you walk by it, you will be
motivated to fill in the blank space with your answer.
And, when you think about it, if you can create 30 minutes of
wonderful then isn’t it possible to create a lifetime that is
something special?
It’s only too late if you don’t start living now.
copyright, 2005 Nancy D. Bishop
I have a heart warming success story. You all know how I
believe that we can succeed in what we do if we decide to do it
and ‘take action’. Each week when I write the bulletin I have to
take action and sometimes there is no inspiration. So what do I
do? I take action, look for inspiration and think what I can
write. I get my inspiration from newspapers, journals and
conversations etc. It seems when my brain is alerted to the need
something comes to me.
My inspiration has just arrived, as it always does. This time by
reading an article in my local paper. This is a true article
about a young man called Mark. Mark has for most of his life
worked at jobs in the manual trade. Recently he suffered a bout
of ill health that prevented him from working. He was advised
that he may never work again.
He spent some time talking with local information and advice
workers and they jointly came up with a plan of action.
Reading and writing are a struggle for Mark because he is
dyslexic. So he decided to ‘get to grips with using computers’.
He successfully completed courses in word processing and spread
sheets. In his spare time he did a First Aid and Health and
Safety course.
Now it gets more inspirational.
Here is a young man taking action to improve himself after being
told he may never work again. In the process of completing his
studies he was so helpful to other students that it was
suggested he might like to take a qualification in teaching
adults. Which he did and passed.
It gets better!
Mark’s confidence and self esteem is now such that he is
employed by THREE organisations. One as a ‘learning support
worker’, one as a ‘learning assistant’ at a junior school, and
also as a ‘community Information Technology tutor’.
I am moved by this true story because it shows yet again what
the human spirit can achieve if we let it. By his positive
action Mark has created a future for himself and he is helping
others in the process. Truly inspirational!
Tip: Those who ‘get there’ do so through their own achievements,
not through their dreams.
*****************************************************************
**** Resource Box: Article by Michael Harrison, Author,
Publisher and Business Consultant. Learn from an expert: Go to:
http://www.be-your-own-business-expert.com/ Subscribe for your
Free weekly newsletter. Information for career and business
minded people. Subscribe today
http://www.be-your-own-business-expert.com/Bulletin.html Access
our archives when you subscribe.
*****************************************************************
**** **Attn: Ezine Editors / Site Owners / Webmasters /
everyone** Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in
your ezine or on your site as long as you leave all links in
place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as
listed above. You can use other articles similarly from
http://www.be-your-own-business-expert.com/Articles.html OR
subscribe to our FREE newsletter issued weekly. Each issue is
packed with motivational, business and personal development
material. Subscribe now at
http://www.be-your-own-business-expert.com/Bulletin.html When
you subscribe you will access our archives - no matter what your
interest/specialisation there will be information there to help
you. Subscribe today to receive the very next issue of ‘byobe
Bulletin’ - Do you get it?
When your life purpose is directing your life, you carry out your life on purpose, rather than accidentally ( gives a whole new meaning to “an accident waiting to happen”).
- You live with intention and direction.
- You know who you are and what is important.
- Decisions are made easier and boundaries are more clear.
- You know what does and does not work for you.
- You have clarity about your values.
- You have a vision, goals and action steps to direct your life.
- You are happy.
So why would anyone NOT want to know their life purpose?
There are three reasons (actually, they are excuses) that I can see.
- First, when you live on purpose you become more visible. You are seen more because you show up for life. You have a glow about you and attract others to you. People want to know “what you are on”…people are attracted to you because you are living a life that creates a powerfully positive aura around you…Some people do not know what to do with all this attention, so they play small, give up their purpose, and live accidentally…and invisibly.
- Second, living on purpose requires a higher level of responsibility. You have discovered the jewel of your life, and it is now the most important force in your life. It takes much responsibility for such a jewel to be taken care of. It requires protection and daily inventory. Your purpose leads your way and will require you to create a disciplined life to have it fulfilled…Some people are responsibility-phobic, meaning that they are scared of responsibility. Perhaps some old programming told them that they couldn’t handle it, or didn’t deserve it. In any case, they don’t take the necessary responsibility for their lives and they, therefore, miss their purpose…They, too, play small.
- Third, there is a high level of accountability to live your life purpose. Once you show up in that light, people are going to look to you for the same in the future…You can’t take it back!! There is a consistency that will be expected from you. There is also a level of integrity that goes with you living in your life purpose. No perfection, but being able to be honest and straight-forward. This includes admitting mistakes when you make them…Some people would prefer to have no accountability, as they believe that to be “easier”…In the end they may have found “easy street” but they also have an unlived, unfulfilled life…They simply have not lived.
- I invite you to seek out the purpose of your life. Yes, it will call on you to be more visible, responsible, and accountable, but the benefits of a life fully lived life far outweigh any and all cost.
Some people say they want to find their life purpose, but do nothing about it…that is their business.
However, some people say they want to find their life purpose, and are ready to take the leap…that is my business.
If you don’t know your life purpose, and you are ready to take that leap, call me. It is time that we talked!!
Ken Donaldson has been based in Tampa Bay offering counseling, coaching, and educational programs since 1987. His REALationship Coaching programs empower people to have more successful lives, businesses and relationships by building a powerful relationship with themselves first. Visit his website at http://www.REALationshipCoach.com for more information and sign-up his free e-program Illuminations and Sparks of Brilliance. Ken is also the author of the upcoming book Marry YourSelf First!
